pain?

nowadays...stress keeps getting on to me..

especially when its the big year for me..

everything doesn't seem to go into place...

now...

all i need is just someone to go to and talk..

and just hang out...you get what i mean?

haizz.

why...why now? why only now i feel this way?

really tired of this..

i don;t even want to go to my work place anymore..

the so called happiest place i could be..

but now...i don;t even want to step a foot in....

i miss them all...

i really do..

but i keep having a thought that the longer i stay the harder it is for me to let go..

i need to focus on other things now..

like my family...

my studies....

and a lot more..

not to say im unhappy with the life i have now...

and im not complaining..

its just that..

im only a girl...a teenager that still need to make mistakes to learn..

and most importantly...

i'll get tired...

with a lot of things to hold back..

i have to be strong infront of family...especially for my parents..

i love them so so much...

i don;t want them to worry because of me..

i don't want them to fuss bout my problem,..

but i hope i could have someone to go to and talk to ..

but when that time came..

all i could do is...cry..

i know i sound like a cry baby..

but what can i do..

try holding everything inside..until you couldn't hold it back anymore..

and you just burst into tears..

its hard to put yourself back together.....

haiz...

day by day..

day by day pn. ting's patients getting thinner and thinner...

haiz....tim ah tim...time to grow up, seriously...

she taught me for 5 years..and i respect her..even though she screams and yells like a maniac..

but she's always thinking bout us..=o

you guys suppose to be more considerate la..

haiz..

day by day 'her' attitude getting worse and worse...

omgosh girl, not that i want to make you look bad..which...you;re already doing it yourself perfectly..

but...as a classmate i seriously hope and pray that you could change..

you're hurting everyone around you..

especially your friends..

you say you're sad and lonely...well...why do you feel that way?

why you think we avoid you...my oh my..

you got everything you want..

why cant you just appreciate it..

you have everything that i wanted..even...u know..

it hurts to see what you gained is what you waste...you disgust me..

can't believe you could do all those things...

FYI...you destroy your own good name...the name which your mother gave you..

you can do whatever you pleased to break me...

but believe me...im not one to mess with..

and take my word : I will haunt and hunt you down...if you ever come across me or my friends or AnyOne dear to me...i swear! i'll never let you go if you do...i meant what i say and i'll do what i said.~!

so dont you mess with me...if you ever read this and think im threatenin you...then girl, you better hide...>=c

change channel..............................

.........................................................

day by day..

im droping to a deeper hole..

so deep that i couldnt hold on any longer..

just wished to have more time to know 'him'

in god's will i hope i will...><

now...all i can think is my family..

i love them too much to see them sob..

couldnt even bare thinking bout it..

this breaks my heart..

so scared..

so scared of leaving..

so scared of facing this alone..

so scared of seeing you..

so scared.......so so scared..

give me this chance, this one last chance to have something to care and love...

so that when the time comes...

i wont feel like i wasted my life...

appreciate life...its full of wonderful things and sights..

things and sights...that you couldnt even imagine...how beautiful they are...until the last minute comes...

dont wait til the last minute...act now...

=)