set things straight

i thought i will regret this day but the thing is...i actually enjoyed my day today as a normal student..the days without stress and worries that is.
but now theres another thing thats really really bothering me..that is the RUMOURS...
i thought i was over this..until today..comon' u all know that im no quitter...i understand why the rumours spread..but i couldn't believe my eyes and ears when u knew who started it...
it was VERY dissapointing...and it is VERY VERY LOW even for the person who started it...(you should know better~! shame on you~!)
what is more dissapointing is the ones who believed it and spread it...y'all should knw me better than this...
i have my reasons..and its not because im afraid or just being negative..
if youre really my friend then you'll believe me when i say i will be back~!
if you dont believe me then stand a side...AND WATCH ME..
im not the kind that will be pushed around by ANYONE~!
just want you to know that i really put all my heart and soul into this thing...
but thanks to certain people..all my hardwork is ruin~
not to be rude but find something else better to do with your life~
one who spread lies about other people to get to the top is the lowest people in the universe~!
remember this~

15/7/08

set things straight

14/7/08 resigned

to my fellow librarians...
today 14/7/08 i had made my final decision to resign as a librarian once an for all..
i have no regrets to my decision.
the reason of my decision is not because of the post. so please stop spreading rumours...
im sick and tired of rumours...get a life people..
in this 3/4 years i didn't meant to hurt anyone..if i did..im sorry..please forgive me..
and in this few years time. I WORKED hard to get to the top..I did not USE ANYONE to get to the top..
my love is true..and my hardwork is all real.
the reason i resigned is because i'm falling ill from a disease..im taking these time to treat it and i want to spend more time with my family, which i had been ignoring because of business..
i just want to use this left over time to do what i had left out doing..
working in the library with all the seniors and juniors had been a lot of fun...
i learnt a lot from them.
i thank you all for giving me the time of my life...
i didn't want to leave as this is a sudden..but as my body is getting weaker each day..i find it impossible to complete my duty in the library...
i didnt want anyone to know about this...so why did i come clean now?
i just want to set straight everything...
i did not resign because i was upset and displease with the result of the post
i did not resign because of HIM..
i did not resign because if the unfairness from the teachers,,
although i leave with undying heart..but i cannot do anything...
i will really miss y'all...as we had share a lot of memories together..
after you read this i just want u to know that i don wan any special treatment or sympathy..
i just wan to be treated fair and as usual...
even though im no longer a librarian doesn't mean im not melissa choy~! =)
im always the crazy girl in 4 sc 2...
before i end this...i just want to say sorry to anyone that i had hurt for the past years.and thank you to all my friends that had supported me over the years...
my heart is always with y'all...my spirit is always in the library...hope y'all find new and fresh inspiration..
i know y'all will do well with or without me ^^




once a librarian alwayz a librarian (eventhough just in heart) =p


~~~~~~~Melissa~~~~~~

!!!SMKDP SUX!!!

basically SMKDP dont suck its just most of the teachers in it. brainless fuck-tards~! not to be rude but I cant help it~! you all are just blind and just stupid..u all are great teachers with brilliant mind.(at least most of you'all) but you just use your eyes to decide...you dont use your brains at all???
all this years of hard work...non of it being paid off...you ask us to respect y'all but wat bout us? we are hyuman beings too..if you learn to respect us you'll find it more easier to communicate wit us..
like you all said you all was once a teenager like us...USE YOUR BRAIN!!! and think..! wat were you like in those days? rebelious? naughty? or maybe you are always the hard working but never gets anything in repay...or maybe you are the one putting your hopes and looking at it crashing down infront of you...
Ever had that feeling??
you all know what its like...i know you have your own responsibility....and so do we...but its not wrong to have fun and USE YOUR BRAIN ONCE IN A WHILE!@!!@!!
its wrong to judge a person if you DONT REALLY know them...you dont know the pain that we are going through because of y'all...you tried that before in your years...so why do you want to pass it down to us?
because of your actions..it will be pass down to generations. ending up we only have one person to blame...
im upset because of y'all...i've put my heart and soul to everything i did for .....but at the end...(sigh) u all disgust me~!
you all have no rights to hurt anyone like that~!!!!!!!! this scar wil remain in me forever~!!!


bullshit to the teachers who had hurt my feelings and my spirit~!!
you're in my list~!

please~><

i duno how to put it but im very upset and very dissapointed. i thought you were the 1 who ask to give him a chnce? which i did.
no offence but u're really a lil bit too drama queen-ish~!
i thought you were the loving, funny, sweet, nice, thoughtful.....kind of guy...but end up ure just a baby....
u cant accept rejection...thats not my fault..why are you blaming me? i just followed your orders...
for your information...im not feeling any guilt...cause i din do anything wrong...
girls like me doesnt care bout a guys' appearance its the heart that counts..
my current bf mayb isnt the perfect one infront of other girls...but he is to me..he's the only 1 who can let me act like a fool infront of him and doesnt mind i make wrong mistakes...not only that he loves me..ALOT~!!! more than u fools ever will..i'd made up my mind...i wan no one else but him.
he' s the one for me...
the rest of y'all can pack your bags and get lost..i dont wana care a damn bout y'all..
i dun wana b rude but you leave me no choice to say this...
i wan to do things my OWN way...n listen to my heart for now on~!
i wont let u decide for me....
for i am my own master...your nt the boss of me~!
goodbye~!!!

Argue

we been arguing for the past few weeks...the truth is...i cant sleep through the night not thinkiong about what i said and what you said..have we lost our touch? or are u and i just worried about something...? i get confuse by listening to myself nowadays..i lost all my sense of directions..

its so hard sometimes to listen to you...cause you sometimes just hurt me badly....til i couldn't breath...just wish that you could understand for once...walk in my shoes for a day...its not easy being me and its not easy being a girl..i know its not easy being a guy as wel...i know what you're going through...i know how it feels...i know all of it...how u ask? u already know the answer to this question...

just want you to know that no matter what you say or what you do...i wont give up on you...not that easily...after all that we had been through...i really..dont want it to end...and i know that you wont let me go either...i just hope that we could stop arguing just for a second...and just listen to our heartbeats...my heartbeat is the same as yours...cause we both love each other...we both want the same thing...thats why we are arguing....i dont know why..i dont knowhow...all i know that is everytime we argue my heart felt like it was tearing up inside...slowly its bleeding...bleeding with blood our sadness...the blood of the devil...

i love you dear...im sorry for everything that im not...please just stop everything now...all i want is you know...peace and quiet...with me...only me....with the begs of mc donalds fries...doing what we love...playing together..watching home movies...i want toi grow fat with you...i want to growold with you...i love you dear..and i dont want everything we had just end like this....i love u...relly relly much...so please babe dont screw this chance up...k?

stressed out - trust

this few months been crazy...i duno whats goin on and alot of things been happening so fast.. i cant catch up to any of it...new feelings and emotioins bloom within me...i feel the pain and sorrow..so deep,...that i cant even hide it anymore...old pains coming back at the time i really dont want it to..i feel so helpless..
ppl said i changed...but i myself didnt realize it..is it true? that i've change into someone im not? if not...then why are you all blaming me? cant u see im going through a lot? im just a normal teenager who obviously needs some comfort and maybe a lil attention..dont just leave me behin and not tellling me why...please dont do that,...i might not show a lot of love to the one im suppose to..but deep inside...i really really love u more than i ever did...i appreaciate u all more than i ever did...just stop judging me from the outside..please..although sometimes i act like its nothing..but deep down it matters to me alot..
for once i want someone to appreciate me for who i am...i sometimes act im strong and brave..but like i said..its just acting..im just a girl...i just dont want to let you worry bout me..if you want me to be independent then u have to believe what im doing..if u dont let me go now..i might never grow up...im a teenager going through teenage problems like evryone will...why cant you understand my needs? please give me a lil fate...one day i'll show u wat im capable of ...now its like a test to me...if now i dont succeed...just let me try until i reach my point...
i believe i can do it...now...i just need your trust...without all of ur fate...im nothing...so please....
working with stress behing my back.